A Dog Playing Chess – An Explanation

First my apologies to any who did not understand my previous poor attempt at humour, perhaps lost in translation concerning Zora the chess playing dog.

My son Philippe teaches young school children and finds that on Monday mornings it is sometimes difficult to perk up their interest. So having an odd sense of humour, I don’t know where it comes from, one Monday morning he asked the class “who has a pet animal at home”. Answer, we have a dog, a cat, a fish etc.

Next he asked what trick can your pet do, “my dog can roll over, mine will give you his paw, my goldfish swims around in a circle and my cat ignores everyone.”  

Then he popped up the picture of his dog on the projector and announced “my dog plays chess”.  

And immediately had the children’s attention.

He did not mention to them that he had temporarily wrapped Zora’s chess piece in a slice of ham before being able to get the picture.

Some Suggested Improvements for Viewers

On a lighter note.

After watching the two soccer games yesterday Sunday, Russia-Spain and Denmark-Croatia settled by goal kicks after 30 minutes of added playing time I have a couple of ideas to improve the soccer situation for the viewers.

  1. Have the goal kicks first at the beginning and then play the game, or
  2. Give every player his own ball, so 22 total then play the game and it is over when the first team gets all it’s balls in the opponents net.

And now they have the video assistant review for the referee I propose the referee and the linesmen review the complete video after the game and give a yellow card to each player who clearly faked a fall or an injury. If the fake fall is in the penalty area it is a red card. At the end of each game the player executing the most spectacular fake fall should be presented with a prize, maybe a mini oscar in midfield.

Some other suggestions to improve the viewing experience.

For tennis when serving I think the male players should also be obliged to tuck the spare ball in their underwear and anyone grunting over a measured decibel level loses a point.

American football, last Super Bowl total playing time 12 minutes, total time for 100 advertisements 60 minutes, revenue $45m per minute should be replaced by rugby. In rugby they play for 80 minutes, no ad time and it is actually violent.

For basketball I still think each team should start with 95 points and the game ends after 5 minutes.

I am afraid there is nothing can be done for golf.

I leave you the challenge of suggesting some improvements for baseball.

Amazingly here most of the nation will spend the next two weeks watching a bunch of emaciated, severely drugged men, a tip of the hat to Lance Armstrong, riding bicycles in a race around France.