Author: John Tierney

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A Dog Playing Chess – An Explanation

First my apologies to any who did not understand my previous poor attempt at humour, perhaps lost in translation concerning Zora the chess playing dog.

My son Philippe teaches young school children and finds that on Monday mornings it is sometimes difficult to perk up their interest. So having an odd sense of humour, I don’t know where it comes from, one Monday morning he asked the class “who has a pet animal at home”. Answer, we have a dog, a cat, a fish etc.

Next he asked what trick can your pet do, “my dog can roll over, mine will give you his paw, my goldfish swims around in a circle and my cat ignores everyone.”  

Then he popped up the picture of his dog on the projector and announced “my dog plays chess”.  

And immediately had the children’s attention.

He did not mention to them that he had temporarily wrapped Zora’s chess piece in a slice of ham before being able to get the picture.

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An Irish Funeral – A second Coming

I was in Cork and Killarney last week.

Finbarr is a good friend of my best friend Mel, they both live in Killarney in the beautiful southwest of Ireland. Mel is retired and Finbarr is a pharmacist, they met because Mel is a regular customer and being originally American something of a curiosity in Killarney.

I met Finbarr and his family when they, him and his 5 children, two boys and three girls stopped here in Saint Denis a few years ago for two days on their way home from Spain. 

The story as told to us by Finbarr over lunch a couple of days ago in Killarney goes like this.  

His father is 75 years old and his uncle, his father’s brother was 78. The two brothers always looked alike but as they got older they shrank to the same approximate size, had the same wrinkled faces and the same thinning hair. A week ago the uncle died and following the usual custom the body was laid out in the funeral home with the coffin open and the family present to accept the condolences of friends and family. That evening the now closed coffin was removed to the local Catholic church, and placed in the nave waiting the funeral mass the next day.  

The following morning friends and family assembled in the church for the mass and Finbarr’s sister was chosen to drive their father to the church. He has limited mobility and walks with a Zimmer frame so she decided that the gravel and steps in front of the church would be too much of a challenge and dropped him off behind the church. She left him and went to park the car and he slowly made his way around the darkened sanctuary and the altar making his way towards his family in the first row of seats.

An older lady and long time family friend was saying a final prayer over the coffin. She finished her prayer, opened her eyes and looking up saw the look alike brother come around the altar pushing his Zimmer frame. Jesus Christ shouted the old lady, Hallelujah shouted Dad throwing up his arms and totally confusing the old friend now using the coffin for support.

The assembled congregation as they understood the lady’s confusion erupted into waves of laughter.  

Hats off to Dad.

I hope this finds you well and in equally good spirits,

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The News From Saint Denis

The news from Saint Denis.

First the good news. After two weeks of coughing, feeling bad and being exhausted every afternoon and a week of antibiotics and three other medications I am on the mend.

However on the evening of Wednesday 15 August Aurelia slipped and fell. On Thursday morning at the Clinique Montreal Urgence they confirmed she had broken a bone (tibia) in her right leg in two places. They put her leg in a partial temporary plaster and told us to return in 10 days after the swelling reduced. On Thursday she slipped and fell again so back to the Urgence but fortunately no further damage. We have a nurse Olga visit every day and give Aurelia an injection to prevent blood clots due her being immobile. Since she is also Spanish her and Aurelia are now friends.

Aurelia having no confidence in the Clinique Montreal after some research we opted to try the Medipole clinic in Toulouse. Yesterday Sunday, leaving before noon to avoid the French masses returning from summer vacation, we went to Toulouse and stayed overnight in a hotel close to the Clinique Medipole. Aurelia had an early morning appointment set up by her local doctor. Today Monday we are back home after seeing a competent specialist / surgeon. No surgery required for now, the temporary partial cast was removed and a full permanent one put in place. No weight on the foot for 60 days and back to see him in another 10 days.

Next time you are in a supermarket pay attention to those couples you sometimes see but never pay much attention to, where one is pushing the other confined to a wheelchair. This is now Aurelia and myself.

Our nurse Olga keeps a few chickens and brings us eggs every week. They come with the date of original delivery she has marked in pencil, Olga not the chicken. You find your amusements where you can.

I thought old age would take longer, watch out for those stairs and steps.

Be well, do good things and please keep in touch.   John

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Too Old To Be An Acrobat, Too Young To Die

My apologies for the extended delay but we flew from Vancouver, BC to Silver Spring MD and after two days on here via Dulles and Frankfurt. This is the first time it has taken me literally weeks to recover.

Then to prove I am not getting any smarter I presumed the hot weather warnings for old people were for old people and not striplings like ourselves I went out an tried to tidy the garden a bit in the current heatwave. Resulting in 3 days in bed feeling terrible and with no appetite.

On Sunday evening Aurelia’s son arrived from outside Barcelona with his 8 year old daughter and 7 month old dog Rufus, as previously agreed, I had forgotten, left them with us for two weeks. With all the garden available around the house Rufus prefers above everything else digging up the tomato plants.

On looking back I don’t know how I became so addicted to podcasts. Living abroad, in my case where is abroad, for so many years I subscribed to the Manchester Guardian airmail edition, it was printed on lightweight airmail paper, and next to the then International Herald Tribune, now the International NYT, and my favourite writer at the time Art Buchwald.

Once ensconced in rural France I subscribed to a variety of periodicals, switching from one political perspective to another and between the UK and the US. I remember variously The Atlantic, The New Statesman, The Financial Times, The NYT, The Spectator, The Economist, The New Yorker, Harpers and recently back to the Guardian digital edition. But then I seldom watch TV.

But today I have been heavily editing down my list of podcasts, I am trying to get it down to 5. This brought about by another dear friend dying on Monday bringing home yet again the salutary warning that time is limited. So no explanation required on that front.

Apropos of nothing,

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know. W.H Auden

Stay well, stay healthy and please keep in touch, I always enjoy hearing from you.