John, Sam
How from Perth did you guess, yes here I am in Puerto Princesa in the Philippines for Christmas.
However my very excellent adventure continues as follows.
Just returned from El Nido which is in Palawan and is well worth a visit but the trip requires stamina or youth and maybe both. Until about 2 years ago when the Japanese funded one there was no paved road to the town and you got there by boat, which probably explains it’s still unspoiled, laid back feel, that and most of the visitors are European backpackers.
We went to the bus station here in Puerto Princesa and thanks to additional fold down jump seats and a suicide seat built over the engine between the driver and the front passenger, 13 souls were loaded into a 10 passenger van along with our backpacks, the belongings of the local travelers and sundry freight to be dropped off along the way. The driver, as a mark of solidarity with his less fortunate passengers, who did not have them, opted not to use his seat belt. As we hurtled off in the torrential rain I read the signs posted inside that said “Lexus Van Lines: We Do Not Overload Our Vans Or Drive Above The Posted Speed Limit” For the first 3 hours the narrow road was paved with cement with a theoretical yellow divider line line down the middle.
However as we climbed up into the hills and crossed them the driver adopted an interesting strategy for sharp left turns whereby he approached them from the wrong side of the road thus giving him a wider and more gradual turn and permitting him to keep up his speed. As a distraction I read all the road signs such as Dangerous Curves Ahead, Speed Limit 60Kms and my favorite, Steep Hill Stop And Test Brakes, and gave the driver my spiritual support. He did slow down for the two spots where the road had slid down the cliff and into the sea and where they had gouged a new path into the hillside. The only blase person in the van was a local guy in the suicide seat who with great sang froide or a sense of fatality slumped up against his friend in the front passenger seat and slept for the first 3 hours.
We stopped at a road junction and picked up, evidently by appointment, a German couple in their fifties. Since it was impossible to open the sliding side door as the freight and bags jammed against the door, and the lady sleeping against them, would have fallen out the driver opened the rear hatch door and our new German friends climbed over into the back seat and now we were 15 passengers. Then we arrived at the graded but unpaved section of the road and still in the heavy rain hit potholes all the way to El Nido with the Germans enjoying more airborne time per kilometer than the rest of us. I don’t want to remember this part.
Squidos, the oldest foreign owned restaurant in El Nido is the property of an alcoholic Frenchman even older than myself who the first time I met him was wearing a tee shirt that read “The liver is evil, And must be punished.” The day he told me he had been married 4 times, once to a French lady, then a lady from the UK, next an American and currently a Filipina and he was wearing a tee shirt that read “Woman wanted to clean and cook fish, Dig worms and make lures. Must have boat with outboard motor. Please enclose photo of Boat and Motor.” When I inquired if there was any significant difference in being married to 4 ladies from different cultures he responded for him “after the first few months not really.”
Squidos like all the other restaurants opens directly onto the street and is really small. Consequently you share your table with other people while waiting hopefully for an extended time for your food. In this way we met Israelis, Germans, French who are everywhere, Norwegians, a Chilean and one evening an American who lives in Hollywood and travels on an Irish passport. When I talked with him I found out about a job new to me. He tours the world for months and sometimes longer researching ocean, water and reef locations for upcoming movies. He was in El Nido selecting locations for what he referred to as Bourne 4 which, as currently planned will open with a “helicopter pull back of one of the islands in the bay.” He was accompanied by an attractive Filipina government handler who was tasked with making sure no local officials or regulations hindered Hollywood’s plans, and other duties as required. He said goodnight, she paid the bill and off they went into the dark. I guess we will have to watch for the opening scene from Bourne 4.
Oddest sight, at least so far. Outside the little shack owned by the fisherman renting out 6 place bancas (boats) for the day is a cage with a monkey. One afternoon when we arrived back from our days outing a young man, who clearly knew the monkey, had extended his hand and the monkey had reached through the bars and was grooming his arm picking off imaginary ticks and clearly enjoying the social contact. I have pictures.
Each evening on getting back to port you tell the boat owner which trip, A, B, C, or D you want to take the next day and what you would like to eat. He then rounds up 5 or 6 people wanting to to the same thing and you leave about 8:30. It takes about an hour to get out to your first island where you snorkel or lay about on the beach and then on to the second island where the two boat guys, irrespective of what food you requested grill you some mackerel over charcoal and serve it up with a cucumber and tomato salad and some cold rice and warm water. Then a nap under a tree and on to the next island.
Most exciting moment. Coming back from a days outing and crossing a long open stretch between two islands, exposed to the open seas and with heavy waves running, maybe a precursor to the recent storms, I heard the boat driver say the Tagolog equivalent of “oh shit” and looking around saw that the throttle cable had parted and he was holding the throttle in his hand. But since the cable was really a piece of fishing line it was quickly repaired before we came broadside to the waves.
Funniest comment. Outside a miniscule internet cafe seating 6 people and with a big overhead sign saying Singh Internet Cafe a bearded gentleman in a white turban saying to an Englishman, ” I won’t be hard to find, I am the only Singh in town.
Extrapolating from an admittedly very small and somewhat personal sample, and the bancas being very small boats, I estimate about 20 banca loads of tourists pee surreptitiously in El Nido bay daily.
On the return trip from El Nido I pointed out to the van driver that the right rear tire was worn down to the canvas. He laughed it off until the tire blew, fortunately on the unpaved section where he could not get up to an excessive speed. I have a picture of him changing the tire.
I am now planning to spend Christmas here in Puerto Princesa and just to show, as a recovering Catholic, that there are no hard feelings about my Falls Road Irish childhood, at least on my part, will probably attend mass in the local Cathedral. Then it is on to Vietnam to see my friend have a rest, and give further further consideration to a possible trip to Burma before KFC and Mac Do get there.
A Merry Christmas to you and the family and and to those that you love and hold dear.
Stay well and be good to each other,
John